Auf Wiedersehen Audi

As a Western Masser, I often found myself fantasizing about city life -or at least a place where there was no chance of getting stuck behind a tractor on a main road.

And Then We Came to the End…

As I sit here, about to write my final blog post-my last journalism assignment ever- I can’t help but let the flood gates of nostalgia burst open.  These next few weeks will be filled with last minute scrambling-cramming and jamming (interpret at your own discretion.) And I am fighting back waves of post-college nausea and trying not to let the middle aged mentality of “college- best four years of your life” get me down.  

Part 2 Feedback Assignment

The assignment was to post a story to elicit as many comments as possible.  I decided to make it my ant story and ended up with a weak 11 comments.  It is really frustrating to look at my ‘stats’ page and see the number of people reading my blog who don’t post! I mean, in all other circumstances I wouldn’t care, but since I am being graded on this blog I’d love for everyone to help a sister out.   I posted links to my story on facebook and twitter.  I also commented on other peoples blogs with links to my own.  I have a few devoted friends who have put my blog in their procrastination zone, which is awesome.  They give me feedback in person which is nice.  

 

I think I need to bully people into commenting, i’ve tried the cordial route.  For every comment you don’t leave an equal number of flamming bags of dog shalalyie will be left on your front stoop.  No stoop?  I’ll code brown your car. 

I think I could have tried this assignment with a racier story, but I was in a time crunch, and I honestly really did like the story I chose.  I hate ants but by god I respect them.  They may be crumb stealing home invaders but they work harder than any other bug I know.  They are like little reincarnated Spartans, militant and willing to die for their nation state.  They are so enamoured with their cause that they don’t even notice a fallen friend until they start to stink.  

To be fair, there are a lot of people I don’t notice until they start to stink too.  Most of them can be found in my biology class.  

But, I did get comments from a few randos…or friends posing as randos…either way, thanks guys.  I’ve been putting all of my recent stories on Facebook to try to gain a following of some sort.  Seems to be working, i’ve gotten comments from a few new people.  We shall see what the future holds.

I’ll take your Miracle and I’ll Raise you one Dr. House

A Marshfield man, hospitalized for spinal surgery says he has a miracle to thank for his instantaneous recovery.

While lying in bed 70-year-old Jack Sullivan- apparently not a fan of earthly drugs- filled his IV with 5o cc’s of Christ.   In other words, he prayed.

“Not to some vast, unknowable god, but to a specific figure in the Catholic Church, vastly respected, yet mortal: Cardinal John Henry Newman, an Englishman who died in 1890.”

@ Twitter: Leave the swines alone!

Initially, I didn’t have an issue with the twitersphere. Now, all I have to say is, Kindly remove yourself twitter.  There is no room on the Internet for you, to quote the racist restaurant owner in Remember the Titans ” We’re full tonight boys.”   

The only thing I got out of Twitter these past few days was an onslaught of information about Swine Flu… and…quite frankly I am very disappointed in how quickly everyone was to throw our delicious curly tailed friends under the bus. If we should be mad at anyone it’s the Mexicans.  Who knows what kind of crazy farm operations they have going on over there, and I just can’t back a nation that doesn’t  treat the most versatile and savory of all the animals with the respect that they deserve.  

Ham, bacon, pork chops, sausage, tenderloin, ribs, pulled pork, the possibilities are endless!  

And hey, if you aren’t into salty meats you can at least appreciate the loveable yet still delicious antics of Babe the original talking pig, and Gordy the knockoff version I got for my 10th birthday by mistake.  I never read Charlottes web because I refuse to acknowledge talking spiders, but Wilbur the pig seems like he would be a cool dude too.  

The following is about my twitter assignment…my pig rant is over. 

Sweet Sweet Beer has Little to do With Your Low Standards

“I wanna say something. I’m gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don’t, send it right back. I want to be on you. ”  -Ron Burgundy 

There is no doubt that there is a positive correlation between warm weather and binge drinking.  If you don’t believe me take a trip to Hobart Ln. in Amherst on a Friday night in May and you’ll get the picture.

Day of Feedback

My day of feedback started like any other day.  I woke up around 5:30am, baked an apple pie and brought it to the local orphanage. Next I went to the gym and worked out until 10, came home, made breakfast and sat in front of the computer with a cup of joe.  

Not your Typical Bout of Road Rage

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry!

This story is from ‘The Times Online,’ -based out of the UK

A 54-year-old woman from Gloucestershire (not to be confused with the delicious region of worcestershire)  was burnt to death after allegedly ramming her Vauxhall Nova (shitty European car) into a slightly less shitty European car.  The story begins as follows.

Hey Man, I have a Good Idea!!!

Here is a precautionary tale for all those celebrating the 4.20. holiday today.  First off, facial hair and fire don’t get along well, so stay out of the wind. Second, no matter what your friends may say, it is never okay to turn yourself into a human lighter.

Night of the Living Ants

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be an ant?  No…not the kind that is 30 pounds overweight and cooks your Thanksgiving turkey without removing the innards. I’m talkin’ bout antsssss…the kind that built the great pyrimids (in your backyard) The kind that steal the crumbs off your kitchen floor, live in colonies and look cute until they are magnified 100x and become the predator.